-Good afternoon, Miss Guinizelli, Mr. Neuropixel- he comments, looking at us, the cameraman and me. He then glues his eyes on me and infers: Or would you prefer that I call you Violeta? Our host possesses perfect intonation and a firm voice, although characteristic, maybe in between baritone and the famous Rod Stewart. He’s neither handsome nor ugly, nor the just the opposite, although he does have balanced features, in any case, and just like at the press conference, he has disarmed us with his exquisite modals.

-Violeta, please, once perfetta, now provoleta, because I still haven’t shaken hands with him and I’ve already melted, like this cheese fondue. Someone from the magazine had to come and I won. –So he reaches his hand out to us and we notice something that, stupidly, disappoints us a little bit: His texture, his roughness and elasticity is identical to that of a humans’ but not his temperature, it’s as frigid as the environment. He notices our startled little jump, smiles, and ushers us into the house. The coffee that he made is boiling, as if a compensation. 

FT: We understand that you are conscious of the transcendence of this interview, - We decided to speak to him in the formal way in Spanish, “Usted”: this way we felt more comfortable thinking that we were interviewing “someone”. –Thank you for your time, Mr. Copernicus.

COPERNICUS: I’m very pleased to be here with you. Adjectival with the word “transcendent”, for its unusualness, I guess. Julio Cortazar wrote tales impregnated with such characteristic, where time detained, action slowed down. We dispose of all that is needed, just like in the tales by that Argentinean author, during which you can make the most insignificant detail first-rate, in the category of the micro-cosmos, if you want. Today we won’t look at our watches, if you agree, dividing time absurdly into fractions, deceivably more sizeable than it all untamed.    

FT: Agreed. We won’t put any more limits on it other than the biological necessities of my colleague and me. By the way, when we were coming around, upon seeing the duality that Leeds encloses, we thought..

COPERNICUS: ….I’d rather be called a metaphor than an appliance, I assure you…-he comments in a dramatic effect that surprises us. His logical deduction capacity is well greased, without a doubt. –But, choosing, I am more inclined to be confused with a home appliance than with a human, thus contradicting what my appearance shows. I am not a human being and I don’t have the calling to be an impostor. You created me in image and similarity, nothing more.- After the biblical sentence he smiles at us again: it’s impossible to know what he thinks. Centuries of psychology today are worth nothing, except that what we have in front of us could be a mental reflex of its creators, an extreme that he just denied. So we decide to act on instinct and forget about the scripted questions. We have been in worse moments…well... no, but we tell ourselves that.

FT: Why then, the human form? Why aren’t you a huge sphere with twelve tentacles? And while we’re there, why wasn’t that sharp brain placed within the curves of a woman?

FT: Of course.

COPERNICUS: Before taking off in the air-mobile that the company sends me to get to the spaceport, I normally dispose of two hours of which I dedicate to preparing my appointments with people, printing out documents if necessary, analyzing memorandums, etcetera, and on the other hand, I arrange my clothes and tidy up the house. At this time I sometimes have a holo-call, normally from Claymstrom, where they outline the planning if needed. I use the trips to keep learning, on one hand, human culture…

FT: …in the widest sense of the expression, we guess….

COPERNICUS: You guess right: In the widest of all senses. This morning I reviewed the camel’s kids, from the fourth century BC, in what is now Dubai, and its socio-economic repercussions…and if I have extra time, after the interview, I will practice with the capital letters, the Merovingian Dynasty, with zoomorphic motives.

FT: How fun…

COPERNICUS: Well, for me it is. It comforts me to assimilate knowledge, although interrelating it is priceless. I was saying that, apart from cultural data, high and dry, I study the human customs, their psychology, their interaction with their fellow men and their environment. There, the mathematical possibilities really do blow up. You people are fascinating.  

FT: Thank you for the generic compliment. We can prove that in this field you are also a good student. Keep going, tell me more about “your” day.

COPERNICUS: I spend almost the whole day on trips and my encounters at universities and schools, institutions and official organizations, hotels, congresses, etcetera. Sometimes I stay overnight somewhere, although I recognize that I don’t really enjoy doing it. When I get back to this house, I consider it my home, I dedicate quite a few hours to doing bio-hard-soft maintenance tasks. Don’t ask me to get into too many specifics about the first one, please. I’m telling you for the good of your own stomachs. I’ve already been told various times that it isn’t very pleasant for you, for example, the “commotions” having to do with the collagen that covers me.  

FT: Don’t worry: Another day if you want we can exchange beauty secrets and, waxing and avocado masks.

COPERNICUS: Ah, I didn’t know about that last one, using lauraceaes for aesthetical hygiene.

FT: You don’t know how happy I am to hear that. Do you read? I mean, books? I say this because I see here that you have an extensive library. Is it one that you buy by the meter and color?

COPERNICUS: Ha ha ha. It’s not a backdrop. Those books are full of pages and, in turn, words, I assure you. With respect to your question, I’ll tell you that I don’t usually read in a physical way, the way that you understand the concept. I have a direct and permanent access to the Universal Web, nourishing myself heavily from it. What happens is that, sometimes, I have to contrast some data and I do it the old-fashioned way.  

FT: Aha. Let’s talk about what differentiates you from us. Excuse the stupidity, but obviously you don’t eat or drink. Right?

COPERNICUS: Obviously. If you stuck something in my mouth and I chewed it up, I wouldn’t even know how to swallow it.

FT: You don’t know what you’re missing…

COPERNICUS: That’s what they say. It seems that the god Omacahtl of Aztec mythology, who symbolized the happiness and the festive spirit, is still very tied to his energetic contribution and his daily vitamins. I’ll inform you of my technique for choosing this comment: I was going to use Baco to Dionysius but it seems that Greek and Roman mythology are very common.

FT: Thank you for that piece of information. If you ate or drank by accident, World sparks fly out of you, like in the old science-fiction movies? If this were the case, somebody who didn’t like you could use a cod fish and a Rioja wine instead of a gun or a knife.  

COPERNICUS: Ha ha ha. No: My creators took steps to prevent that contingency and right below my uvula I dispose of a small watertight compartment. They take care of me, believe it. I’m a very expensive toy.

FT: How….?